Mutual Stupidity
by NerdyGerl
Summary: What makes Lanie finally say yes to Esposito's request for a date? It can't have anything to do with our favorite author and female detective, can it?


Disclaimer: Let's put up something about Castle, and how I don't own it.

Author's Note: So, I've been suffering a bit of writer's block on my Bones stories, and have once again been taken hostage by Castle. Here's a little one shot to entertain us. Enjoy.

*Edit: Aug. 2011- I finally got to read Heat Wave and Naked Heat, I have changed a line or two in here to reflect the book relationship between Ochoa and Parry.

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><p>Mutual Stupidity<p>

Dr. Lanie Parish didn't even look up from the body on her table, "I told you that I'd call you when I had something on your vic."

The male voice surprised her, she had been expecting Beckett. "I'm not here about John Doe."

Lanie finally looked up from her table and made eye contact with the male detective. "Then why are you here, Javier Esposito?"

Esposito shrugged, "Just wanted to say hello."

Lanie lifted a glove slightly so that she could look at her watch. "At 10:36 at night?"

"It's as good of a time as any." He started to fiddle with instruments on a tray.

Lanie narrowed her eyes and turned back to the cold body on her table. She focused on the victim for a few minutes until a clattering sound and a string of curse words interrupted the silence. The detective was picking up the spilled instruments and looked up at the medical examiner apologetically. Lanie looked down at the man, annoyance in her gaze. "I still have nothing for you, come back in the morning. And I won't say no to a hot chocolate and some pastries when you do come back."

Javier stood up and swept his eyes around the room, looking at anything but the woman in front of him. "So, I hear you broke up with your Firefighter of the Month. Mr. February was it?"

Lanie sighed and peeled off her gloves. She was going to need a big cup of coffee in order to have the conversation that she could sense was coming. And she _hated_ coffee. "November, actually. But what does that have to do with the price of eggs?"

Esposito held up a small trash can so that she could throw away her gloves and gave her a small smile as he returned the bin to its proper place. "So you're single?"

Lanie hedged a bit, "Yes, and you are making no sense right now. Why do you care if I'm dating someone or not?"

Javier frowned, "I should think that the answer to that question was rather obvious." Lanie quirked an eyebrow at him and he continued speaking. "We have this thing going on, can't you feel it?"

"What kind of thing?"

Esposito stepped toward the doctor and swayed his body from side to side, a teasing tone to his voice. "I flirt with you, you flirt with me."

Once again, Lanie pulled a face, "You flirt with anything with boobs, Esposito."

"Well...uhhh... Hey, you let me cut in line when you have a back-up in the morgue. That's got to mean something."

"I do not let you cut in line. I'd let Kate cut in line, but not you."

"We're a team, same difference."

Lanie took a deep breath, "Javier, it's late, I'm tired, and I've got a John Doe to identify. Just spit it out."

"Go out with me? Friday night."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You just said it, We're a _team_. We can't cross that line."

Esposito asked the same question again, "Why not?"

"When we don't work out, and we won't, it's going to be awkward. It's not worth the risk. And, we've had this conversation before, nothing has changed. I'm not Lauren Parry, and you are not Ochoa. Just because Castle put it in a book, doesn't mean that it is true. I'm sorry, Javier. It's not going to happen."

"I'm not giving up you know. I know what I want. We'd be great together, there's a reason that they work on paper, they're based on real people. I'm not going to give up."

Lanie shook her head and reached for a new set of gloves, she needed to get back to work. "Go home, I'll call you when I've got something. Good night, Javi, get some sleep."

Esposito took several steps towards the exit. One step away, he spoke again. "Do you want to be like Beckett and Castle?"

Lanie dropped the gloves that she was still holding, and let them fall silently to the floor. "What?"

"Tell me you don't see it, Lanie."

"See what exactly?"

Esposito gave her a look, they both knew exactly what he was referring to, but she wanted to hear him say it.

"Come on, you see two people that are crazy about each other and they don't do anything about it. They'd be great together, and everyone else can see it, but nothing happens. They date other people that are never going to be the one, because the_ real_ one is staring them in the face. I don't want to be like that, giving you puppy-dog eyes, wanting to throw up every time I hear about you and your latest fling, just wishing that one day you would open your eyes and see _me_. I am _not_ going to be Castle and Beckett."

Lanie stared at him with an open mouth. She never really thought that Javier Esposito was so deep, or passionate. Like their favorite author, he hid his deeper feelings under a mask of playfulness and comedy. And apparently, what Javier felt for Lanie was a lot more than shallow flirtation and superficial attraction. Finally, Lanie closed her mouth and quirked an eyebrow. "Wow, you've thought about this a lot."

"Yes, I have. And you have too. Come on, you've been rooting for them. I know you have. You've seen the way they look at each other, the way that they act around each other. They are crazy to keep ignoring it."

A smile broke across Lanie's lips. "I thought that this was supposed to be a conversation about us, not about our friends and their mutual stupidity."

"Well you just told me that there won't be an us. And it looks like you are being just as stupid as they are. At least I can admit my feelings."

Lanie's smile grew wider. "You know what, you're right."

Javier started to protest, before he realized that he had changed her mind, and that she actually agreed with him. "I am?"

Lanie picked out a third set of blue gloves and turned once again to the body on the table. "Seven o'clock. _Saturday_ night. Pick me up at my place. Make a reservation, somewhere nice."

Javier nodded his head several times. "I can do that."

"And don't tell anyone, if this thing is a disaster we can just go back to normal on Monday. Never mention it again."

"OK. I can live with that."

A scalpel was poised in Dr. Parish's capable hands, and she lowered the safety glasses perched on her head in order to cover her eyes. "Oh, and bring flowers, roses. And wear a suit, with a red tie. I like you in red."

Javier grinned like an idiot. "Check and check. Anything else?"

"Yeah, wipe that stupid grin off your face and go get me a shake from Remy's. I'm starving."

"Sure thing, chica. Be back in 15."

"Make it chocolate. And don't call me chica."

There was no response, just a less-than-subtle fist pump from Detective Esposito, and a terrible attempt at concealing a smile from Doctor Parish.

When Lanie was sure that Javier had left she started her autopsy, "Well, Mr. Doe, let's figure out how you died. Apparently, I have a date to get ready for."


End file.
